I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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