You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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