youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
