I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize