Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
