i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
