do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize