i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
