Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
