STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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