I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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