yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
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I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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