i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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