As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We're too hungover to prance.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
