If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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