you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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