I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
