all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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