no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
