I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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