New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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