So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
