Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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