The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize