So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
