did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
