u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
