So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize