I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
