I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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