I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
