You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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