Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i out mim tonsoeep
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