found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
