wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize