I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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