You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you would pick up someone in the library
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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