The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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