Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
