I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
