Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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