wrigley field is MILF paradise
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
