im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
