You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
