i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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