My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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