used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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