Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
