are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
