Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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