Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
