Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
