Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We're too hungover to prance.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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