haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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