All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
