I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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