where am i from again
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
