so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
