Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
