I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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