apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize