1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
