Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
