You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
