it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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