But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
