just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
