I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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