How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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