i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
