speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
