what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
