is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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