You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
